I lurk now in the shadows in attempts to avoid the noise and the questions I so dread. I dreamt of mom again the night before last making yesterday a tougher day to deal with the questions of well meaning people. Mom was with me but this time she looked confused, lost almost, she wanted to stay by my side but was being pulled away by some unseen force. While I understood that she was not supposed to be here she did not know why she could not remain. I gently told her that she had to go, but she looked lost, scared and hurt that I was telling her this.
"Where am I going?"
she asked as she looked into my eyes.
With tears streaming down my cheeks I replied,
"I do not know mom, I do not know."
I awoke to my own sobs.